Farmer Aldus/Lore

From Istaria Lexica

Aldus' Tale[edit]

"I've a tale to tell will set your blood cold just to hear it!" The inebriated dwarf tipped back in his chair, puffing a foul smelling cigar. "Tain't your run o' the mill tale neither, but one as will chill ye to the bone!" He leaned in blowing acrid smoke in my direction. "It's true! I seen it with me own two eyes, I have!"

"Just a mite of a lad I were then, an' no taller than yer knee. Da had been teaching me the finer points of brewing." He nodded solemnly. "Ma, she'd been after me to learn me letters, but I'd a far better head for brewing than I had for reading. How some ever... Da sent me to Dalimond to chat up the folk there, for twas rumored as there were a secret recipe for brewing rye to make a fine, smooth whisky.

"Well! I got there and spoke first to that Pedro feller who buys and sells. He told me many things, but bid me caution. 'Mind now,' says he, ' you don't go poking into the basement under the house with the runes. There be a secret door there under the stairs. Takes ye places as ye don't want to be going.'

He gestured to the barmaid to refill his mug. Satisfied, he tipped back again, taking a long pull on his pint. He wiped the foam from his bristling, red moustache and continued.

Well, I were in sad and sorry shape by then. Pedro done told me not to go to the house with the runes, but where do you suppose we ended up? They dragged me inside, past the kitchen, to the stairs. There in the corner, they opened a secret door.

"Slowly, slowly I walked in and the door swung shut behind me with a thump. Took a moment for my eyes to fix on what I were seeing. Twas at that moment I saw the worst sight of my life! I shudder now remembering! It were lined floor to rafters with kegs. They was stark empty and scrubbed clean! Why must have been dozens of them! And there in the midst of it all, a crew of humans whistling, singing and hosing them out! They took soap to 'em! Perfectly innocent kegs, they were, and these folk scrapping around in them like they was mucking out stables!

I ran hell bent to the nearest tavern, flung myself on a stool and ordered a pint. You know what they give me? A clean mug and watered down ale! Just goes to show, you can't trust humans!"